Just for Today...I Will Not Worry - Part I

This post is long overdue, but everything happens exactly as it is meant to and in the most suitable time frame, so a little background as to the reasons for the delay, and how those reasons themselves add further clarity, strength and understanding to the whole concept of worry as we generally understand it.

Following a very difficult period, not only because of my Father's passing (see my new blog for further details, updated postings etc.) In Memoriam, but also due to the new harsh reality of my Mother's financial situation and the need to find new living arrangements for her, the whole concept of "Just for Today I will not worry" was put to the supreme test.

There were some shaky moments to be sure, very shaky actually, but the constant use of Reiki, meditation and prayer have proven themselves once again. It took some time, more than my problematic impatience could stand at moments, but things are slowly working their way out in ways of course that I could never imagine.

Which is all part of it! Let GO and let GOD! Don't worry about the "how's". Don't set limits as to how the solution will present itself. Just know that ..."when we release our needs and prayers to the universe without strings attached, the heavens take care of coordinating the outcome."..."Look upon everything from the end of (your) prayer onward as having a part to play in the answer to your prayer..." (Caroline Myss, Invisible Acts of Power).

Hopefully the following will give you a deeper understanding of the principle..."just for today I will not worry"...and I am sure my own personal involvement over the past few months precisely with this principle, was not by chance. Nothing Is. It was all meant to give more depth and concrete understanding to me before presenting it here to you.

My Father passed away on Octber 16th, following almost 6 months of a difficult and lingering death, during which time I had also left my job as administrative assistant in a Hi Tech Company to be able to care for him and spend more time with him, as well as my Mother...it was an extremely difficult and stressful period. In addition, I had cancelled a 4 month trip to India just 2 days before I was meant to fly out, as it was obvious that the situation was very serious. (He passed away 10 days later). I had planned to spend the time in India to make better use of my months of unemployment payments, but as things would have it, that didn't work either. My Mother also was in a very precarious financial situation as mentioned above, and it was all getting to be too much.

Even saying "Just for Today I will not worry" became difficult...but I continued to do it! I found myself in a very strained position, financially, emotionally, physically, even spiritually...completely drained. When I simply could no longer ignore the fact that I was worrying about what would happen, I began meditating and praying (pretty much one and the same thing for me) in a more focused direction, asking for renewed strength, continued faith in God and trust in His Universe, for clarity, guidance and direction, as well as the wisdom to "see" the solutions as they were presented to be (as I was sure they would be). On October 27th, after a full prayer/meditation session, I fell asleep as usual...and that night had the following dream.

I don't remember it in its entirety, even though I wrote it down immediately upon awakening, but it was very long and quite lovely, involving much pleasant company, beautiful places, food, pleasure...But the two points which were brought home for me to "see" and understand from the dream, the answers to my prayer, the clarity, guidance and direction I was seeking, are as follows:

• Finding myself all of a sudden completely alone and in someone else's clothing (dreams are like that aren't they?) actually typical Indian men's clothing, and coming outdoors from wherever I was and feeling cold. The clothing was not warm enough for the sudden change in weather. Feeling quite chilled and not knowing what to do, I was all of a sudden given a shawl to keep me warm. Telling me, as I see it, that you will ALWAYS be provided with whatever you need to keep you comfortable in every new and unexpected circumstance.
• I next found myself confused while walking through alleys of what seemed like some old part of town, (not lost, frightened confused), just confused that I didn't understand how to get where I wanted to...as if it was something I already knew and couldn't remember...When I asked the first person I met, he simply said "Follow your instincts". I think that needs no explanation...but was for me at that point so profound that I woke in tears of joy.

To be continued shortly in Part II

In Memorium 1916-2006

As I have created a new blog in Memory of my father, this post can now be found at the following link:

http://daveyscheiman.blogspot.com/2007/11/death-is-night-between-two-days-rabbi.html

Life’s Detours, Their Blessings and Lessons

My life has taken a detour, again (what we perceive as a detour in our journey, is only OUR understanding of the turn of events. Truth is, things are unfolding exactly as they should and all things occur as they are meant to at the moment in the Universal plan of things)…and has, at the same time, given me the opportunity for further growth through new lessons learnt. When one is forced to take a detour on a planned journey, it does not mean that he cannot enjoy the scenery on the new route. Perhaps pleasant scenery is not part of this detour for me, but certainly blessings to be found and lessons to be learnt are.

And as such, this blog will once again take a detour away from the planned in depth discussion of the Reiki principles until this current period comes to an end. You can however see a very short personal look at how this period is challenging me and my personal daily work with the Reiki principles in the next short post.

I am, at the moment, NOT in India as planned. As things worked out, two days before my scheduled flight, I cancelled my plans.

I had every intention of going to India to revive my spirit, recharge my batteries so to speak and gather new and fresh energies to help me continue caring for my ailing father, and give support to my Mother at this most difficult of times in her life.

However, the situation being what it is, I simply could not have achieved any of these goals in India due to the deterioration in my father’s health and the need to be here at this time. I would have been unable to release to the magical powers of the Mountains and it would have been a simple waste of time and money.

It is my privilege to be here now and help in any way I can to make my father’s passing as easy as possible and provide support to my Mother at the same time. I will not go into detail (for reasons I will write about shortly), beyond saying that my father has not been granted an easy and dignified end to his life. It is truly amazing to witness the power of fear, concern, worry and guilt, and how they can keep a soul, already cleansed and ready to depart, prisoner in a physical vessel which is, for all intent and purposes, no longer “living”.

I myself have entered a new stage in my relationship with my father, just as lovers do when the dimension of physical intimacy is added to their relationship. It changes things forever in ways that cannot be described in words. If the relationship is a truly loving one, the new intimacy is profound and felt well beyond the physical level-as deep as can be-two souls meet and commune and become one. And in the same way that these lovers would want to share the essence of their new relationship without sharing the intimate physical details, so I myself have found it fitting NOT to share the technical details of the my father’s condition- not to go into the very intimate details of my father’s last days, but will just say that the essence of this added dimension to my relationship with him, the wonder and new depth in our relationship is a gift beyond words.

This is the blessing this detour has given me with my father.

To see his physical distress, pain and frustration, to feel his raw emotional distress and anguish, is probably the most difficult lesson I have had to endure so far in my life. To watch this gentle loving man go through this lingering, undignified end to a proud and honorable life is almost beyond endurance. My helplessness is unbearable at times-the frailty of the physical body vs. the tenacity and strength of the mind, and our thoughts and beliefs, incomprehensible. The will and determination of the human mind to survive in the physical is beyond rationale, especially when the body in its physical form has just about completely shut down.

I do my best to comfort him with Reiki when he is willing to accept these loving energies, as he is granted respite from his physical and emotional torment. There is a visible change in his entire façade, his breathing, his muscle tone and he seems to enter a state of complete relaxation and release. However, he very often refuses to receive Reiki. His fears overwhelm him…he is drowning in fear, the fear that if he relaxes his grip for a moment on his physical reality, “something” will happen. What that something is he is unaware of, but the fear prevents him from allowing himself the luxury of release.

Like many Western people, my father has never talked about, or even thought of, Death and certainly has never contemplated his own passing. He has no concept of “soul” and the only thing which is real for him is the physical realm. He has never questioned his own mortality or the essence of the soul vs. the physical body needed to keep that soul here on Earth. And as a result, he is paralyzed by fear, of the unknown, of his own helplessness in his situation, by the complete breakdown of everything physical, and yet the rational mind will not, or is incapable of, giving in or releasing its grip. The only thing we can do now is to keep him as comfortable as possible for as long as necessary for him to finish his own processes. For those lucky enough to feel no fear of passing over, the final moment becomes a peaceful one-but for those who are completely unprepared, the need to cling to the familiar, to the physical, is overwhelming.

This is a lesson which challenges my beliefs to the core, and to my great joy, I find my beliefs unshakably strong . That knowledge is reassuring and I am most grateful to God and to the Universe for allowing me once again to be in a difficult and unsettling situation which COULD have shattered all I’ve held to be true. For allowing me to look in the mirror , see my professed beliefs held up for scrutiny, and still find them steadfast.

All DOES happen for our Higher Good, ALL things are a blessing, and the human mind, our intentions, our thoughts, CAN and DO make seemingly impossible things happen on a physical level.

Time Off for Family...and India Journals

Hi All, Sorry to have deserted you but wasn't sure anyone would notice. It's only since several of you have asked that I'm writing to let you know what's been going on for the past few weeks and why I haven't continued my postings on Reiki. Two of my daughters and their families have relocated, one from the city to the country, another coming back after 3 years of work abroad, and I spent several days with each of them helping them move in and organize their new homes. At the same time, my father is still going through a serious crisis after being, regretably, placed in a permanent nursing care unit. It will take him time to adjust but his complete dependence on others has taken a great toll and it is very difficult to see him, care for him etc. And of course, my Mother has been deeply effected by this as well. They have spent their entire life together as a couple, meeting each other something like 75 years ago and being married for 65 years. And the last 30+ years they have been retired and have spent every single day together just about all the time. The separation for them, beyond the difficult state my father is in, would be enough to create a serious emotional crisis leading to physical symptoms. It is like have part of your body ripped out. But they are both in the same assisted living building, my Mother in her own apartment still, and Father just downstairs, and they are both learning to come to terms with the situation. What the entire past year has created for all of us however, including myself, without our even being aware of it, is a chronic state of stress which has pretty much lasted for about 1 1/2 years actually, and only now have I understand the debilitating effect it has created in my life, on all levels, emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. It has been devastating and only this week did I realize to what extent it has effected me. I am now working things through and putting myself "back together" as well...including going to the gym, (in addition to my daily practices of yoga, pranayama, meditation and Reiki) and, finally, working on my India Journals blog. All of the above has taken up my energies, both physically and mentally, and have therefore not posted anything new here all this time. My apologies....but part of the living in the now is living in the now! And doing what is right at each moment...flowing...learning...understanding...creating new ways of dealing and always opening the new doors of opportunity which present themselves to us along the way...no matter how twisted and complicated it may seem sometimes. So, if you are interested in seeing what I've done so far on the India Journals (about 1/2 way finished but no photos yet)...and also a very interesting sum up post of Lesson's Learnt from my travels at the beginning of the blog...you can do so by following this link: Jane's India Journals Hope to get back to my regular blog entries shortly. My love to all Jane

90 YEARS YOUNG! And Still Going Strong!!

As I have created a new blog in Memory of my father, this post can now be found at the following link:

http://daveyscheiman.blogspot.com/2006/11/90-years-young-and-still-going-strong.html