Just for Today...I Will Not Worry - Part I

This post is long overdue, but everything happens exactly as it is meant to and in the most suitable time frame, so a little background as to the reasons for the delay, and how those reasons themselves add further clarity, strength and understanding to the whole concept of worry as we generally understand it.

Following a very difficult period, not only because of my Father's passing (see my new blog for further details, updated postings etc.) In Memoriam, but also due to the new harsh reality of my Mother's financial situation and the need to find new living arrangements for her, the whole concept of "Just for Today I will not worry" was put to the supreme test.

There were some shaky moments to be sure, very shaky actually, but the constant use of Reiki, meditation and prayer have proven themselves once again. It took some time, more than my problematic impatience could stand at moments, but things are slowly working their way out in ways of course that I could never imagine.

Which is all part of it! Let GO and let GOD! Don't worry about the "how's". Don't set limits as to how the solution will present itself. Just know that ..."when we release our needs and prayers to the universe without strings attached, the heavens take care of coordinating the outcome."..."Look upon everything from the end of (your) prayer onward as having a part to play in the answer to your prayer..." (Caroline Myss, Invisible Acts of Power).

Hopefully the following will give you a deeper understanding of the principle..."just for today I will not worry"...and I am sure my own personal involvement over the past few months precisely with this principle, was not by chance. Nothing Is. It was all meant to give more depth and concrete understanding to me before presenting it here to you.

My Father passed away on Octber 16th, following almost 6 months of a difficult and lingering death, during which time I had also left my job as administrative assistant in a Hi Tech Company to be able to care for him and spend more time with him, as well as my Mother...it was an extremely difficult and stressful period. In addition, I had cancelled a 4 month trip to India just 2 days before I was meant to fly out, as it was obvious that the situation was very serious. (He passed away 10 days later). I had planned to spend the time in India to make better use of my months of unemployment payments, but as things would have it, that didn't work either. My Mother also was in a very precarious financial situation as mentioned above, and it was all getting to be too much.

Even saying "Just for Today I will not worry" became difficult...but I continued to do it! I found myself in a very strained position, financially, emotionally, physically, even spiritually...completely drained. When I simply could no longer ignore the fact that I was worrying about what would happen, I began meditating and praying (pretty much one and the same thing for me) in a more focused direction, asking for renewed strength, continued faith in God and trust in His Universe, for clarity, guidance and direction, as well as the wisdom to "see" the solutions as they were presented to be (as I was sure they would be). On October 27th, after a full prayer/meditation session, I fell asleep as usual...and that night had the following dream.

I don't remember it in its entirety, even though I wrote it down immediately upon awakening, but it was very long and quite lovely, involving much pleasant company, beautiful places, food, pleasure...But the two points which were brought home for me to "see" and understand from the dream, the answers to my prayer, the clarity, guidance and direction I was seeking, are as follows:

• Finding myself all of a sudden completely alone and in someone else's clothing (dreams are like that aren't they?) actually typical Indian men's clothing, and coming outdoors from wherever I was and feeling cold. The clothing was not warm enough for the sudden change in weather. Feeling quite chilled and not knowing what to do, I was all of a sudden given a shawl to keep me warm. Telling me, as I see it, that you will ALWAYS be provided with whatever you need to keep you comfortable in every new and unexpected circumstance.
• I next found myself confused while walking through alleys of what seemed like some old part of town, (not lost, frightened confused), just confused that I didn't understand how to get where I wanted to...as if it was something I already knew and couldn't remember...When I asked the first person I met, he simply said "Follow your instincts". I think that needs no explanation...but was for me at that point so profound that I woke in tears of joy.

To be continued shortly in Part II

MESSAGE IN A DREAM - INDIA MAY 15T,2007

I am again sending a link to a post in my India Journal, as it brings home once more a profound message of how "things" work...

check out this link about a dream I had, and it's obvious relationship to my beginning Aura Transformation tomorrow....

click here

Love and light
Namaste
Jane

Another Lesson From India so Appropriate Here as Well

Still working on my journals from India, and again came across the following, which happened in 2001 but is so appropriate to what I have been writing about here on this blog. Particularly the post about "Living in the Shadow of the Past". Hope you enjoy this personal insight and would love your comments.

Much love to all of you...and success on your own inner journeys.

Monday October 8th, 2001-8 AM

I didn't really know how to write about what just happened but it has been another turning point for me in my work with myself and my quest to come to terms with my painful past experiences which have had such enormous impacts on my whole life. To know the past
and to perceive it in a neutral light and to truly be able to forgive and put it all where it belongs...in the past...and not have it always accompanying me in subtle forms in all I do and in my relationships up to this day......I very often felt I had managed to do just that, but certain memories would keep coming back to haunt me and the same painful emotions were always still there...dealing with this and freeing
myself from this has eluded me… until today.

The fact that this happened on the very last day of my 2 months alone is for me, at any rate, very significant...it means to me that this was the time I
needed to purge myself and it is now perfectly suitable for me to be getting on with my travels with someone else...I no longer so desperately need this time "with myself". It is just another proof to me that we must never worry about "what will happen
when..." as the natural flow of events, the overview, is always in place and perfect for our needs...we do not need to waste all of our valuable energies worrying if we made the right decisions and analyzing each move before we make it and what if it will not "work out" and maybe we should have done something else. The idea is to just "DO".

I just read a quote by Ray Bradbury (of all people)
which is quite appropriate:

"Make your journey be a joyous one!
Don't think! Thinking is the enemy of creativity
It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is
lousy...
You can't try to do things.
You simply must DO things!"

Very apropos for all of us actually.

I really am still working on quieting my mind but that will still take time but the basic idea is "to do" and "enjoy" without thinking so much. All will always happen for our own personal best interest.

Now...What happened was I have been trying all kinds of techniques and exercises and processes to rid myself of several poisonous memories which have been keeping
me from truly feeling completely forgiving of the past and these memories were still preventing me from fully getting on with my life and with certain
relationships. I felt that none of the things I was doing was helping and again went to sleep last night feeling quite disturbed by the fact that I couldn’t overcome these feelings which always flooded back to me every time I tried working with the past.

One particular memory headed the list always and perhaps is representative of the injustices I felt as a child and I could never seem to see it in any
perspective other than a child being unjustly treated. No matter how I approached it, it just remained the same and hurt me and angered me every time over again.

It is an incident involving an ice cream tart and probably I am the only one who even remembers it, but, I have finally broken free of not only that incident,but every feeling of pain, anger and injustice it represented from my past.

In the early morning hours when we have "those kinds of dreams", a kind of video film of my childhood started to play. But it included feelings, smells, sounds, sights and impressions which placed me in the role of both participant and at the same time neutral
observer of the events and scenes. Places and people and sights and events and memories arose going back to when I was as young as 2 up to about the age of
10-12. So detailed was the "video" that I was actually there once again. I can still feel the
essence of the places and smell the food and hear the traffic noises while I sit here and write!! Most of the places and people I had not thought of in 50 years
if ever, and these came flooding back to me, candy stores, movie theaters, my grandmother(!), dancing school, on and on and on...friends, neighbors, it was unbelievable!! I wish I had some kind of dream video recorder to save it and replay for all of you to see!! But I guess the idea was just for me to BE there just once more and live through it as well - and neutrally observe it in order to finally purge myself.

Now this all sounds clever and nice and I know even while still watching it that it was working to finally get me moving on without the burden of my past...but as I opened my eyes (at first I had to rub them to be sure I was now really awake) a sparrow sat on the string which acts as my closet here and just looked at me...When I opened my eyes, it chirped as if to say "Oh, now you are a "free bird" just like me!!" (sparrow in Hebrew is called a "tzipor dror" meaning a "bird of freedom") and this is truly now how I
feel. I helped the sparrow find his way out of my room (don't know how he got in...was he here all night??) and then had an enormous cry of overwhelming joy and here I am writing!! I feel "light as a bird" inside and cannot truly believe that this happened to
me. Having the bird here to confirm it and physically emphasis the impact of what happened is almost unbelievable. But true!! So...that's if for
today...must truly assimilate what has happened to
me...it is quite amazing!!

Tuesday...October 9th (still in Mcleod)

After reading something by the Dalai Lama now I had an even greater insight into that ice cream tart incident I mentioned yesterday. It says when someone hurts you or angers you...not only to see it from the other persons point of view which is obvious...but to think
what opportunity it gave you to grow or something positive from YOUR point of view. Up until today I had actually not seen anything positive from my point of view in the incident...when all of a sudden it dawned on me...just now...and I burst out laughing...Am still smiling as I write this... I was given the opportunity at a VERY early age to learn
that you "cannot fool Mother!!"..a fact which probably made the next 15 years of my life a lot easier for me (or maybe you CAN fool her but you've got to be very clever and subtle to do it...so I was forced to develop some very useful tools for the rest of my
life!!)